A discussion around how to deal with rejection when looking for a life partner. Marriage is a sacred bond between two people who are committed to sharing life. A life that may have its fair share of ups and downs. The commitment to marry means to commit to being there for your life partner through the highs and lows. Although we seek self-actualization and independence, humans are social beings and also seek company in all phases of their lives. From educational peers to social and professional peers. The culmination of it all is to find a mate that completes you and the thought of spending their life with you in association brings joy to their hearts as well as yours.
Before embarking on the journey of married life, one must understand that there are responsibilities associated with the relationship as well. You become responsible for the happiness of a person and must place importance on the fact that there will be a symbiosis of other relationships in the association. Your partner’s family, friends, associates, and moods will all become a part of your life as well. Just as you will assign importance to these thoughts, your future partner must also weigh in on the pros and cons of choosing you as a life partner.
There are times that you may feel that a certain someone is perfect for you. You may be in sync with choices, opinions, and moral/familial values but they might reject your advances or your marriage proposal. The million-dollar question is…what would you do if that happens?
We live in a very vain society. In a society in which people assume that there is only black or white, they tend to refuse that there exist grey areas. Meaning that rejection or acceptance is viewed as a making or breaking point. However, this is not true. We must move away from internalizing rejection. A rejection does not mean that there is some inherent fault with the person who has been denied a match. It also doesn’t mean that they have been brushed off as unworthy. A usual response to a rejection is that because of a refusal, people begin to believe that they are neither desirable nor capable of handling a relationship, which is why their proposal was refused. Such thinking often creates a downward spiral. Negatory thoughts start swimming as a person starts to internalize invalidation. Hurtful thoughts start emerging in their minds and sometimes these thoughts take a dark turn.
Something that is often left unsaid on the subject is that rejections can be healthy if they are handled properly. How can a “No” be turned into an awakening?
Understand the other person’s perspective
Going into a marriage is not a decision that one person can take for both people. It is something both parties must weigh in on carefully because marriage is a major decision. The individual you were interested in marrying may not be ready yet. They may not have anticipated having to make a decision so soon. Perhaps they intended to spend more time getting to know you properly. You need to acknowledge the other person’s emotions and reasoning. Gracefully ask them what the reason for their rejection was and accept it equally gracefully.
Don’t Let hopelessness creep in
Never give up hope. You need not view the rejection of a proposal as the end of the world. This doesn’t mean that what you are feeling is invalid. You may feel a lot of emotions but it would be best to not allow any emotion except for logic to cloud your reasoning. Sometimes, we act out because it wounds our ego. This happens because we view it as a collision between reality and expectation, creating significant tension and activating our defensive system. We either begin to blame the individual who rejected our proposal or we begin to blame our lives. One should not lose their cool in instances like this since blaming others will not allow one to gain objectivity.
Don’t let your self-assurance waver.
When you are rejected for marriage, you may lose confidence. Your natural reaction would be to fault yourself for the rejection, but this is misguided. You are overthinking if you assume you are to blame for the decision and believe that you are unworthy of marriage. Avoid dwelling on anything that causes you pain. When a person is mentally disturbed, they allow room for intrusive thoughts such as jealousy and contempt, which undermines their confidence. They start doubting themselves when they should not. Every person has a different perspective. The way they perceive life is from a different tangent than others. This means that when one person thinks they cannot live their entire life without the other, those feelings may or may not be reciprocated. They just might not feel strong enough to reach the same conclusion as you. It would be prudent to remember and remind yourself that these dark thoughts should not be allowed permanence in your head space.
Find room for growth within yourself
You will learn that there are many essential things in life after experiencing rejection. For some time you must put some time into understanding that unlike what is shown in movies and dramas, marriage is not the culmination or the end of your life’s story. It is just a small part of your life story. You must place importance on knowing and understanding that you can still write another chapter into this story or a new beginning. Start putting an effort into where you see yourself in the future. If you were rejected for marriage because your financial situation was not suited to the one you proposed to, reinvent yourself. Gain another skill, grow your knowledge and elevate yourself. Or find someone who values you for your current position in life. If the reason for rejection was the way you dress, then reimagine and rediscover yourself without losing your personality. Turn this rejection into a lesson for improvement and adaptability.
Explore all avenues to discover How To Deal With Rejection
If the one you proposed to was not ready for marriage, but you feel ready to find a life partner, keep looking for other choices. Expand your horizons and seek for your mate in locations you’ve forgotten about. There are many matrimonial websites like SyedMatch that allow you to set your criteria based on your preferences as you begin your search for a Muslim spouse. A piece of advice would be to set realistic expectations to avoid heartache. Consider your options carefully and think about who you want to marry. Spend adequate time before proposing to them and asking them about their feelings for you.
As the proverb goes, once bitten, twice shy, it is important that you evaluate your decision carefully before moving ahead with another proposal. It is also very important to understand what YOUR reasons are for deciding to get married. Here are some questions that you may ask yourself before proposing to a future life partner.
- Does the connection feel serious and long-term to you, or playful and transient? It may be tough to establish a way together if the other person takes it far more seriously than you do.
- Is this a point in your life when marriage might disrupt the route you’ve chosen for yourself? Be clear if the marriage should take place now or at a later date in life when you have realized your other plans.
- Do you have strong feelings toward marriage? How much importance do you place on having a loving relationship that is based on mutual trust?
- How do you feel about your partner’s approach to financial habits, professional ambitions, parenting, household management, or other aspects that might may have an impact on your marriage?
- Has a family member been pressurizing you to get married which is why you feel the need to propose right now?
Remember no one else but you will have to live through the consequences of a hastily made match. So be very sure before you pop the question. If all these questions have been asked and answered and you are ready to move into the next chapter of your life then we wish you the very best and hope that you will visit SyedWeds or our comprehensive wedding businesses directory for all your wedding-related needs.