Finding a life partner requires considering both physical and mental compatibility, as both are equally important for a successful and fulfilling relationship. In the years spent objectifying women for peddling their own wares, beauty companies have pushed forth an agenda that promotes colorism, ageism, and fatphobia. The current narrative may be changing but years of having the same rhetoric being shoved down the throats of the masses have somewhat influenced the thinking patterns in terms of seeking a spouse.
It’s 2023, and millennials and gen Zs are pretty woke and have shunned antiquated notions when it comes to selecting life partners. They have also openly canceled anyone who may remotely try to stereotype certain attributes in a person. They firmly believe in celebrating people for their achievements instead of how they look. They “ship” unorthodox matches and “stan” couples who have made it despite all odds. But how do they view marriage and what might they look for in a marriage or when looking for a life partner?
Their daily lives may revolve around breaking the norms and channeling all their energies towards uplifting the underprivileged and challenged, but they also have a high sense of worth and have clear ideas about what they deserve. So even though they are uplifting others for achievements overlooks, what perimeters will, or should they look for when settling down with one person for life?
Physical Compatibility when looking for a life partner
Before we illustrate marriage choices through a Venn diagram of wants, haves, and will-gets, let’s also talk about physical compatibility. This does not mean that the single Muslim that you are looking for must be able to do as many bench presses or can hold a plank for a decent amount of time. This is a concept that goes far beyond simply outward appearances. True compatibility transcends the boundaries of race, ethnicity, and taste buds. For some of SyedMatch’s patrons marrying into the same race may hold enormous value because of cultural similarities and for some, it may not. However, at the end of the day, no matter which community your future spouse may belong to, if you have made a connection with them, it will allow you to embrace their culture too.
For example, it may be important for you to find someone whose dress sense matches yours and you meet someone who fits the description, but they are differently abled. How might that influence your decision? What holds importance is that when you make your final decision? You must be very clear that you respect that person for who they are and that your life would be incomplete without them.
If physical appearance accounts for 60% of your decision, then you must remember that looks fade but a true soul connection doesn’t. Reassess and reevaluate your choices and perhaps bring it down to 40% and look again for the one that makes your heart sing at the thought of talking to them, texting them, holding a discussion with them. Remember if looks were the only thing holding a marriage, we would still have Brangelina and Sahad.
Mental Compatibility when looking for a life partner
Let’s discuss mental compatibility when looking for a life partner. On a spectrum, single women may appreciate looks like Austin Butler, Wahaj Ali or Michael B. Jordan. Single men may crush on Gigi Hadid, Sajal Ali or Zoe Kravtiz. However, what happens if they only possess two active brain cells? Or only talk about the protein shakes that help them bulk? Or what latest diet they are on. Can you survive a lifetime with them talking about just cars or just sports or just what this season’s bag costs? The answer is negative. Mental compatibility is supremely important. Sure you would want to spend the rest of your life with someone who may enjoy swimming like you or running like you but at the end of the day if you don’t have shared interests to talk about or they don’t understand the vocabulary that you are using, you should prepare yourself for a roller coaster ride.
Two people in a relationship can be very different when it comes to their academic achievements in life but still be compatible. What needs to be gauged is the ambition toward a better tomorrow. He could be a physicist and you could be the creative head of an ad agency, understandably two opposite worlds. However, if (a)There is mutual respect for each other’s careers and aspirations and (b) Both of you feel invigorated after a conversation, then that means that you are mentally compatible.
Finding the right mix of beauty and brains is the right way to move forward with this extremely important decision of your life. Although these two may appear to be the only decisive factors. A vital factor when choosing a life partner is their religious preference too. Some would think of that as a subset of mental compatibility, and they wouldn’t be wrong. Though, we would do well to remember that their appearance would also be affected by how strong their religious views are.
A point to remember would be that striking a balance is important to lead a happy married life. Graceful love, acceptance, and respect are the utmost qualities needed in a life partner. Everything else is secondary. Wise men say, never marry with the intent to change a person. So, don’t rush into a marriage thinking that he/she has the looks, and I can change their mindset. You will be setting yourself up for friction and conflict. Connect with a partner who may share a similar mindset to all approaches in life on SyedMatch, a trusted Muslim matrimony platform. Get to know each other better by using our chat features, seek advice from our life coach services, and who knows you may also find the perfect combination of beauty and brains. All the best and we sincerely hope that you find forever love through our platform.