Disagreements are a natural part of any marriage, and Muslim marriages are no exception. However, the way in which disagreements are handled can have a significant impact on the health and longevity of the marriage. In Islam, there are several guidelines and teachings that can be used to handle disagreements in a respectful and constructive manner. Here are some tips for handling disagreements in a Muslim marriage:
Stay Calm and Avoid anger
It is essential to remain calm and avoid anger when dealing with disagreements. This will help to prevent the situation from escalating and allow for a more productive conversation. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger” (Sahih Al-Bukhari).
Active listening involves paying attention to what the other person is saying, without interrupting or becoming defensive. This helps to create an atmosphere of respect and understanding, which is essential for resolving disagreements. The Qur’an states: “O you who believe, be maintainers of justice, bearers of witness for Allah’s sake, though it may be against your own selves or your parents or near relatives; if he is rich or poor, Allah is nearer to them both in compassion; therefore, do not follow (your) low desires, lest you deviate; and if you swerve or turn aside, then surely Allah is aware of what you do” (Surah An-Nisa 4:135).
Seek advice from elders or professionals
Sometimes, disagreements can become too difficult to handle on our own. Seeking advice from elders or professionals, such as counselors or marriage coaches, can provide an objective perspective and help to find a resolution. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The believer who mixes with people and patiently endures their annoyance will have a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people and patiently endure their annoyance” (Sunan Ibn Majah).
Find common ground
Finding common ground involves identifying areas of agreement and building upon them. This helps to create a foundation of mutual respect and understanding, which is essential for resolving disagreements. The Qur’an states: “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect” (Surah Ar-Rum 30:21).
Forgiveness is a vital component of any successful marriage, and it becomes even more critical when dealing with disagreements. Forgiveness involves letting go of past hurt and moving forward in a positive and constructive manner. The Qur’an states: “And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth swear not to give (any sort of help) to their kinsmen, Al-Masakin (the poor), and those who left their homes for Allah’s Cause. Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful” (Surah An-Nur 24:22).
Disagreements are unavoidable in any marriage, but they can be addressed respectfully and constructively. Muslim couples can overcome problems and develop a better, more happy marriage based on Islamic principles by being pleasant, actively listening, seeking guidance, finding common ground, and practicing forgiveness. At Syed Match, we make every effort to provide you with all of the information on how to handle disagreements in a Muslim marriage that will help you become a better version of yourself both before and after entering the sacred relationship of marriage.