How much Involvement of Parents In An Islamic Marriage is permitted? As the wise say “Take valuable efforts to create a bond between your wife and your mother”. Marriage is a beautiful union of two individuals who vow to love and cherish each other in all situations. This is especially true for Muslim married couples, but unfortunately, parents and in-laws can sometimes interfere in the life of such couples.
In traditional Muslim households, parents and in-laws have a lot of influence in their son or daughter’s life and their interference in the life of the couple is seen as a way to show their love and concern. However, this interference can sometimes be detrimental to the relationship and the couple’s happiness. In many cases, parents and in-laws can be intrusive and demanding in their expectations of the marriage, which can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration from the couple. But this doesn’t mean that parents do not have any say in their children’s lives. A balanced relationship is a secret ingredient for the perfect marriage recipe.
Involvement of Parents In An Islamic Marriage
The role of parents in the lives of married Muslim couples is to provide guidance, support, and advice. Being the most important family members; they significantly contribute to the development of a successful marriage by teaching them Islamic values, principles, and teachings.
Power of communication
It is important that parents have an open dialogue with their children about marriage and provide them with a supportive environment where they can speak openly about their feelings, concerns, and thoughts. Parents should encourage their children to communicate openly with their partners and to strive to maintain a stable and loving relationship.
Support System
Parents should also be willing to provide financial and logistical support to their children when needed. This could include helping them find safe and suitable housing, helping them with wedding expenses, and providing a supportive environment where they can discuss their marriage plans and decision. Parents should also help their children to develop strong problem-solving skills and communication skills to help them through the rough patches in their marriage. Muslim parents should also help their children to understand Islamic teachings about marriage. This includes teaching them about the importance of mutual respect, loyalty, and commitment in a marriage.
Provide guidance
Parents should also be involved in helping the couple adjust to married life. This includes providing support and guidance as the couple adjusts to their new roles as husband and wife. Parents should help the couple to establish healthy boundaries in their relationship and should encourage them to practice good communication. Additionally, parents should make sure that the couple is able to meet their financial obligations, such as providing food and shelter and should provide guidance on budgeting and spending. In addition to providing practical support and guidance, parents should also provide emotional and spiritual support for the couple.
Honor privacy
Additionally, parents should respect the couple’s privacy and avoid interfering in their personal lives unless asked. However, while parents feel the need to be involved in the life of their married son and daughter-in-law, they should also be aware that the couple needs their own space to establish their own identity and build their own relationship. Parents should not be overly intrusive or demanding and should allow the couple to make their own decisions and mistakes in order to learn and grow.
Area Of Concern: Overstepping Boundaries
Even though parents and parent-in-laws are usually well-meaning, they can often interfere in the lives of the couple in a way that can cause tension and even resentment. The Qur’an and the Sunnah have laid down a clear code for relationships between parents and children, and between in-laws, and it is important for couples to follow this code in order to maintain a peaceful family life.
One of the most common ways that parents and in-law interference can manifest itself is in the form of advice and expectations. Parents and in-laws may feel that they are entitled to give unsolicited advice on how the couple should handle their marriage and family life. They may also expect their advice to be followed without question.
For instance, parents and in-laws may try to control decisions such as where the couple should live, how they should spend their money, how to start a family, and even how they should raise their children. There is a certain resistance if their ideas are challenged. They find that it is difficult to accept changes or new ideas that go against the family’s traditional values. This creates a semblance of a tug-of-war between the new couple and the elders.
Ultimately, the question of how far parents should be involved in the marriage of their children is a difficult one to answer. Parents must weigh the traditional expectations of their culture, the advice of their religious leaders, and the needs of their children in order to make an informed decision because in the end they always want their children to be happy. Some cultural values deem it appropriate for parents to push their children in the right direction when they reach marriageable age.
We at SyedMatch, a Muslim matrimonial website, have a few profiles made by Muslim parents for their single Muslim offspring and we truly respect that. Attaining balance is the key in all relationships, whether it is with your spouse or parents. Connect to someone you hope to build a future with on SyedMatch.com and discuss your family lifestyle or engage in discussion over multiple topics. Sign up now and gain a pathway into a beautiful future with a spouse of your choice.